I'm Sorry

So here’s a story. Yesterday, a Scandinavian I was strolling with dropped his umbrella and I reflexively said “I’m sorry”. It’s only too true that Canadians have a special relationship with the phrase “I’m sorry”.

Sometimes, like anyone else we mean it and we are genuinely apologetic. But sometimes, like in the above scenario, it just comes out of our mouths before we know it.

Other times, it’s just something that’s said in certain situations. For example, should you accidentally come into contact with strangers (i.e., they bump you or the other way around), in either scenario you would say “I’m sorry”. This can certainly seem strange to non-Canadians - “why would I apologize when clearly he bumped into me?” The thing is, 99% of the time, it’s accidental and both of you saying you’re sorry is just a quick way of acknowledging the accidental contact and saying it’s ok. So, to translate, the person who did the bumping - the bumper, if you will, is actually apologizing when they say “I’m sorry”. And by also apologizing, what the bumpee is saying can be roughly translated to “oh, no worries, it’s ok!”

Truly, I did get frustrated when living in Norway (especially in the beginning) where people bump into you with nary a word. And I was pretty ticked that time after time I would reflexively apologize for them bumping into me and get nothing back. I know that it’s just cultural and not personal, but it was still annoying to deal with.

A German friend once pointed out that I said “I’m sorry” a lot. My immediate response was to say sorry. I swear, I was not being an ass. Once more, it was just a reflex and it came out of my mouth before I knew it. Again, I wasn’t truly sorry that I said sorry a lot. That is not something I’d like to change, even after living abroad. Especially after living abroad. It’s something I very much like about Canadian culture.

The thing is, most of the time when we say we’re sorry we don’t really mean it, it’s just a social politeness that’s quite nice. It greases the social wheels so to speak. You can never go wrong with saying sorry as much as we do because even when you don’t necessarily mean it deeply, it’s not a “bad” thing to say.

Better said than unsaid.

So, when the aforementioned Scandinavian noticed that particular Canadian-ism and remarked that it made him miss Canada, I was definitely pleased to hear it. After so many frustrating moments (this very morning I was pushed aside just so someone could enter a bus before me), it was nice that our “apologetic” nature was appreciated.

So, go forth my chickens and grease those wheels.